Nic Rudy introduced me to a cool exercise for storyboard. You look up a random-ish picture online, and create a storyboard around it--adding 5 panels to the original image.
This is my first one! I am open to crits!
This is the image I used for the board:
For some reason I can't seem to get to the larger version of the images. It still reads at the small thumbnail size though, which speaks volumes about how clear they are. It's a good story too. You avoid the trap of over complication while still keeping the ever elusive charm to the story.
ReplyDeleteOverall really good at keeping eyetrace in mind, though I think you should condense the firefly flying off to the left and him looking to the left side of the screen to the same panel. It's more efficient and it reinforces eyetrace towards the left. The way it is that transfer is happening, but it's less powerfull than it could be because after the firefly flies to the left our attention starts to go back to center screen since the boy is the only thing on screen again, which causes an eye-jump to the left for the next panel.
Other than that, the only thing I can think to say is that it would be nice to have seen if he dropped or tossed the fishing rod into the water. That could have been a nice moment. It was a good choice to have him lose the rod in reaction to the firefly, but the way it is now we only see the result of the act and not the act itself. Whether or not he chose to drop it and the way in which he did so would give you a nice character moment and clarify why he's doing what he's doing and also how he feels about it. Was he startled and dropped it? Was he so entranced by the firefly that he just let the rod go? Did he actively toss the rod away now that he had found something more interesting? All very different choices, that would impact how we interpret the kid's character and actions. That said, this is all based off of looking at your panels at a size where I could literally cover them entirely with my pinky. So it's very possible it's a lot clearer in the full size boards. Overall though, a great start to what I hope will be a lot more boards from you.
Thanks Nic for the awesome crit!
ReplyDeleteI agree, it would be better to see him toss the rod. I was worried that it would not be clear what he was going-fishing, or holding a stick in the water (thought, that's not too different from fishing sometimes if ya don't catch anything lol).
I will re-vamp my blog layout or the next 9 panel so the images are larger.
Thanks Nic!