Friday, January 6, 2012

5 panel 3

Did another 5 panel! I have been going to flickr to get my jpegs. I just click the explore button, and choose the first image that comes up. I wanted to do something more dramatic this time. Let me know if it worked!
This was the randomly flickr photo used.


  1. This is great! I love the story, it's so wonderfully sad! Also, perfect final panel. That panel communicates so much very efficiently and effectively. I especially like the way the light divides the screen diagonally in such a way as to emphasize her downward direction.

    A few things you might want to watch out for though: When we see the note we see it from an odd angle. We can read it fine in a still, but it might be awkward to read it in a film that way. You can either change the angle to be more straight on in that first shot or keep it a little off in the first shot so that you only see it's a note and increase the tension till a later panel when you reveal the text. Also, I'm not entirely certain what is going on in panels 4 and 5. Is she reading it at that moment or is she tearing it up at that moment? The way she's picking it up in panel 4 would indicate she's tearing it up, but the close up on her face in 5 indicates that she's reading something. If you want to show her reacting to her tearing it up I'd say go with a less neutral expression, though to be honest the final panel sells it well enough that you might not need to show her reaction in that way since it's evident in the final panel. You might be able to go from 4 to 6. If she is reading it in 5, maybe zoom out a bit so we can see the note she's focusing on. That would make the action a little clearer.

  2. Thanks Nic!
    I see what you mean! Do you think it would work if her expression in panel 8 was distressed/angry?

    Thanks for the awesome crit!!!

    1. Do you mean panel 5? I think that would make it clearer what she is feeling, but I think that the bigger confusion is over what action she is taking.

  3. Ah! I see! I think it needs another panel then

  4. I've had a few in explore...

    This is my 2nd favorite...